The Only Wishes

It is truly embarrassing yet has to tell the truth is I have been some time didn't update my Blog -- Duncanstyle.

Life goes on & things happened. Plenty of happiness & sadness happened in between this period. Let’s brief something importantly.

I quit my old job and joined a new job in 2 weeks ago.

Indeed a bigger company compares to previous ones, yet it is not equal to better. I would say it will be a new chapter & big challenge in my life. Why say so. There are lot of tough people to dealing with even though I find myself is quite friendly, easy going & compromise, but sadly those are limited to the people I willing to deal.

A friendly environment, positive energy, good culture are always in dream. Those are not in my eyes perhaps my expectation is in higher standard than what they can offer. Again to realize everything is beautiful with only our imagination, assumption & expectation.

Nonetheless, I strongly withdraw all my negative opinions in order to perform my best, at least fully served my probation period in 6 months as well as longer.

Other than job, I met a guy. We know each other in the gym. Reason was being we gym in early morning which is quiet hour and not many people that we can look at. Lucky and unlucky I like him, for more than just a friend.

Recall the memory, a silly me always look forward to meet him in the gym during the time we don’t contact. You know what, how wish I could know him no matter only his name. Indeed I totally into him.

One day he asked for lunch on the day after, but without promise. I was so happy yet feeling strange how come he didn't ask for my contact if any changes to be made. Well, he disappointed me.

I felt a bit bad cause it has been awhile didn't see him in the gym. Until the day we met again in the afternoon. Figured out we resign from our jobs at the same time, and will not coming gym in the early morning. Not the end of the world, happy that we exchanged contact. It might be chemical caused that we use to text each other everyday. Without commitment, we meet weekly and I always feel great to see him.

He is kind of straight looking guy. I like his personality, appearance, and the way he speaks. I like his tone, voice, sometime with cute motion. He is very fine for me. He is the one I feel can be in relationship with. No, I am not obsessing his outfit, but most importantly inner part and the future we can grow with each other.

Well, he upsets me while I express my feelings on him. I don’t feel that sad. It is nothing wrong to tell a person that “I love you” even with a bad response. I proud of myself being act like a men rather than I keep it to myself. Who knows if you still have the opportunity to tell the people you love.

I have to admit that I afraid to lose him no matter as a partner or as a friend. I am selfish and I hope he can be mine even though it is just a burble dream. However, I don’t force him as in love is about both instead of single party.

As for now, I don’t feel bad with him at all even we always argue, not even with times of rejections he made.

Only 2 big wishes I have, one is to figure out my interest and what I really like to work as or do in. Work always torturing you mentally. Number two is I hope he could be staying in my life longer, as well as until the end of my life.